08 August 2008
05 August 2008
30 ways of sperm death
30 ways of sperm death
1.久不出兵，鬱悶死。
2.忽有一天，蓄勢待發，興奮死。
3.千億個兄弟一擁而上，擠死。
4.出來發現是主人自行解決，冤死。
5.被濺到地上，摔死。
6.被噴到牆上，撞死。
7.被衛生紙擦掉，風乾至死。
8.被擦掉後，又扔進垃圾桶，熏死。
9.終有一次，踏上正途，，第一個沖到終點，得意死。
10.第二個跑到終點，發現就晚了一步，氣死。
11.第三個來到終點，看別人已卿卿我我，嫉妒死。
12.跑不到終點的，順道參觀遊覽，迷路後轉到暈死。
13.體力不支的，在奔跑途中累死。
14.跑到終點，沒見到卵子的，失望死。
15.跑到終點，見到了一個卵子，幸福死。
16.跑到終點，竟見到了兩個卵子，緊張死。
17.被一個卵子接受，自豪死。
18.被兩個卵子接受，威風死。
19.被卵子拒絕，羞愧致死。
20.因爲被採取安全措施，所有兄弟落入安全套中，被自家兄弟壓死。
21.安全套出口被打了一個結，窒息而死。
22.意外發現安全套有針孔，驚喜死。
23.爭先恐後出來後發現安全套被扔在水裏，淹死。
24.在水裏發現跟自己長相相似的蝌蚪黑的象從非洲來的，笑死。
25.惹怒了蝌蚪，狂吞了自家好多兄弟，嚇死。
26.第二次出發，有兄弟身上全是唾沫，噁心死。
27.沒被噁心死的，後來被胃液酸死。
28.有責任感的兄弟被捐出來，放在冷藏箱裏，凍死。
29.抗寒的，因爲一直沒有被用上，等待至死。
30.除了一個成人了的兄弟，其餘全白死
1.久不出兵，鬱悶死。
2.忽有一天，蓄勢待發，興奮死。
3.千億個兄弟一擁而上，擠死。
4.出來發現是主人自行解決，冤死。
5.被濺到地上，摔死。
6.被噴到牆上，撞死。
7.被衛生紙擦掉，風乾至死。
8.被擦掉後，又扔進垃圾桶，熏死。
9.終有一次，踏上正途，，第一個沖到終點，得意死。
10.第二個跑到終點，發現就晚了一步，氣死。
11.第三個來到終點，看別人已卿卿我我，嫉妒死。
12.跑不到終點的，順道參觀遊覽，迷路後轉到暈死。
13.體力不支的，在奔跑途中累死。
14.跑到終點，沒見到卵子的，失望死。
15.跑到終點，見到了一個卵子，幸福死。
16.跑到終點，竟見到了兩個卵子，緊張死。
17.被一個卵子接受，自豪死。
18.被兩個卵子接受，威風死。
19.被卵子拒絕，羞愧致死。
20.因爲被採取安全措施，所有兄弟落入安全套中，被自家兄弟壓死。
21.安全套出口被打了一個結，窒息而死。
22.意外發現安全套有針孔，驚喜死。
23.爭先恐後出來後發現安全套被扔在水裏，淹死。
24.在水裏發現跟自己長相相似的蝌蚪黑的象從非洲來的，笑死。
25.惹怒了蝌蚪，狂吞了自家好多兄弟，嚇死。
26.第二次出發，有兄弟身上全是唾沫，噁心死。
27.沒被噁心死的，後來被胃液酸死。
28.有責任感的兄弟被捐出來，放在冷藏箱裏，凍死。
29.抗寒的，因爲一直沒有被用上，等待至死。
30.除了一個成人了的兄弟，其餘全白死
04 August 2008
The DARK KNIGHT RETURNED !
After almost 2 weeks of the islandwide theatrical release, I finally watched the Batman sequel, The Dark Knight, today.
I've read so many blogs about how good Heath Ledger is. I felt that his performance is overrated, partly because he didn't hog the screen time a lot. No doubt he portrayed The Joker excellently, but that is what good actors do. In comparison, I would very much prefer this year's Oscar winner for supporting actor, Javier Bardem, in his villain role for "No Country For Old Men", and felt his acting is more impactful, partly because of his extensive screen time.
The plot of The Dark Knight feels a lot like the Die Hard series, where the good guy has to crack riddles or solve dilemmas plotted by the villain in such an inconceivably flawless way.
But I took home another more important lesson that is the soul of the Batman comic's essence. And that is how a futile vigilante struggles in a city of ultimate corrupt to fight crime. Rather than creating a superhero that seems to always save the day at every appearance, Batman deals with real issues about how having a masked vigilante could make things worse, by luring villains like The Joker to unleash their talent to scheme just for pleasure.
The scriptwriter truly captures the essence of the relationship between Batman and Joker, and that they need each other to make their existence meaningful. I felt depressed that there is such a 'hopeless' societal city where being corrupt is the way of life. If I do ever live in this kind of city, I would have moved out long ago. But this is just fiction, a way of storytelling in order to deliver entertainment value, and at the same time teaches us some human values.
I'm not sure how the next Batman can continue to develop this human element. Or it could simply be a "Batman Saves The Day" flick, like what Tim Burton's previous Batman franchise did. Seriously, Tim Burton's version is family-friendly and has its values. Nowadays, it's harder to be good filmmakers because the audience expectations go up exponentially. With all the CGI-effects bombarding the cinematic world, how can you expect producers to make films that thrills audience and yet contains character depth?
Surprisingly, The Dark Knight does that. And it deserves to be on the fastest-grossing film of all time.
03 August 2008
Funniest Olympic Swimming Trial
Three guys were about to have a trial for Sydney 2000 Olympic. Two guys got disqualified for jumping before the gun. So the last guy have to race against himself and I laughed after watching him swim. This has got to be the funniest Olympic swimming trial ever!
01 August 2008
What he value most ?
A young man learns what's most important in life from the guy next door. It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time tospend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.
Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday." Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.
"Jack, did you hear me?"
"Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said.
"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of the fence' as he put it," Mom told him.
"I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said.
"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said.
"He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching methings he thought were important...Mom, I'll be there for the funeral,"Jack said.
As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.
The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time.
Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time. The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture....Jack stopped suddenly.
"What's wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked.
"The box is gone," he said.
"What box? " Mom asked.
"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me was 'the thing I value most,' " Jack said.
It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.
"Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said. "I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."
It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died. Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. "Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days," the note read.
Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention.
"Mr. Harold Belser" it read.
Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside.
"Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life." A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch. Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover.
Inside he found these words engraved: "Jack, Thanks for your time! Harold Belser."
"The thing he valued most...was...my time."
Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. "Why?" Janet, his assistant asked.
"I need some time to spend with my son," he said.
"Oh, by the way, Janet...thanks for your time!"
take time off your busy schedule and think about the people in your life who've been all the time, listening to you, supporting you, playing a part in your life. remember the next time you talk to them, say " thank you for your time " b'cos it is their time that you are taking up and it is that time of theirs that you feel relaxed. no matter what happens, always remember the times that you've spent with your loved ones. for they are the one that always spurs you on no matter what happens. " thank you for your time "
Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday." Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.
"Jack, did you hear me?"
"Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said.
"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of the fence' as he put it," Mom told him.
"I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said.
"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said.
"He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching methings he thought were important...Mom, I'll be there for the funeral,"Jack said.
As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.
The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time.
Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time. The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture....Jack stopped suddenly.
"What's wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked.
"The box is gone," he said.
"What box? " Mom asked.
"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me was 'the thing I value most,' " Jack said.
It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.
"Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said. "I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."
It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died. Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. "Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days," the note read.
Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention.
"Mr. Harold Belser" it read.
Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside.
"Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life." A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch. Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover.
Inside he found these words engraved: "Jack, Thanks for your time! Harold Belser."
"The thing he valued most...was...my time."
Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. "Why?" Janet, his assistant asked.
"I need some time to spend with my son," he said.
"Oh, by the way, Janet...thanks for your time!"
take time off your busy schedule and think about the people in your life who've been all the time, listening to you, supporting you, playing a part in your life. remember the next time you talk to them, say " thank you for your time " b'cos it is their time that you are taking up and it is that time of theirs that you feel relaxed. no matter what happens, always remember the times that you've spent with your loved ones. for they are the one that always spurs you on no matter what happens. " thank you for your time "
31 July 2008
A Quote about Praying
I love this quote from the movie "Evan Almighty". This is what Morgan Freeman (as God) said:
If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?
I'm always fascinated about destiny and whatever Higher Being whom some people strongly believe. To give a simple illustration, you might encounter some people who seem to always say things that aren't the most pleasant to hear. But do you wonder why you get to hear these words? Perhaps it was some pre-destined arrangement to forewarn you about some events, or a wake-up call about how you live your life.
Every action you take will indirectly affect someone I stay up late so that I can hear Mayenne's cries and put her to sleep before Angie hears it and gets up from her bed. I spend time capturing and editing photos so that my clients will see themselves good-looking and perhaps boost their confidence in life. I compose piano music and sell them in CD shops so that someone could buy them and play at home and make their newborn baby sleep better, resulting in better sleep for the parents too.
One of the things I've always wanted is to be wealthier. Now I think back and realised that I have been wealthy all my life. I remember a saying from my friend: "If a problem can be solved by money, then it is not a real problem." Although it sounds like some saying from the triad society, it makes perfect sense.
I need a HDB flat when I got married. I get one by getting a HDB loan and paying the mortgage via CPF.
I need a new car when I got my first kid. I get one by paying cash which I saved over the years.
Wealth is all about yourself. Even if you earn $20,000 a month, you might end up paying for the $3m house loan or the $200,000 luxury car or the $5,000 living expenses.
And in fact, I care about how you feel about your wealth, because, who knows, your state of happiness may indirectly affect mine too.
Live happy.
If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?
I'm always fascinated about destiny and whatever Higher Being whom some people strongly believe. To give a simple illustration, you might encounter some people who seem to always say things that aren't the most pleasant to hear. But do you wonder why you get to hear these words? Perhaps it was some pre-destined arrangement to forewarn you about some events, or a wake-up call about how you live your life.
Every action you take will indirectly affect someone I stay up late so that I can hear Mayenne's cries and put her to sleep before Angie hears it and gets up from her bed. I spend time capturing and editing photos so that my clients will see themselves good-looking and perhaps boost their confidence in life. I compose piano music and sell them in CD shops so that someone could buy them and play at home and make their newborn baby sleep better, resulting in better sleep for the parents too.
One of the things I've always wanted is to be wealthier. Now I think back and realised that I have been wealthy all my life. I remember a saying from my friend: "If a problem can be solved by money, then it is not a real problem." Although it sounds like some saying from the triad society, it makes perfect sense.
I need a HDB flat when I got married. I get one by getting a HDB loan and paying the mortgage via CPF.
I need a new car when I got my first kid. I get one by paying cash which I saved over the years.
Wealth is all about yourself. Even if you earn $20,000 a month, you might end up paying for the $3m house loan or the $200,000 luxury car or the $5,000 living expenses.
And in fact, I care about how you feel about your wealth, because, who knows, your state of happiness may indirectly affect mine too.
Live happy.
30 July 2008
Piano Love Letters - Jazz & New Age
I found out about this album 2 years ago. Since then, I tried many means to get hold of the album, but this album is only available in Korea. I even asked friends and friends' friends who were going to Korea to help find the CD at shops, but to no avail. Ironically, this CD is readily available for sale on many Korean online websites!
Eventually, through Facebook, I found out that an ex-student from the ballet school, Sue-Ann, was there for a student exchange programme. I asked her to help, and she managed to get a copy! Today I finally met her to pass me the CD.
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